Satanic Squirrel |Crush Everyone |Self-release

Release Date January 1^st, 2026
Format Digital
Genre Bay Area Thrash Metal
Country Germany

Satanic Squirrel hail from the German metal strongholds of Hamburg and Berlin, formed back in late 2022 by two veterans of the scene, Saschimoto and T-Fresh. You might know them from their grindcore days in Hellatio. They grew up worshipping the Bay Area gods of the late 80s and early 90s, Metallica, Megadeth, Testament, and Nuclear Assault. Their goal is pretty simple: aggressive old-school riffs mixed with a heavy, modern production. Lyrically, they obsess over conspiracies and global manipulation. After dropping "Toxic World Invasion" in 2023, they released "Crush Everyone" on January 1, 2026.

This duo does not mess around with the formula. You put this EP on and you know instantly what you are getting. It is straight-up worship of that classic California sound, but filtered through a couple of angry Germans. The guitars crunch and chug with that specific rhythm that makes you want to circle pit in your living room. It has that energetic bounce you hear on old Nuclear Assault albums, but the sound quality is way beefier thanks to the production work. It hits the ears properly without sounding like a dusty demo tape found in a garage.

Saschimoto handles all the music, and the guy clearly spent his youth learning every riff Hetfield and Mustaine ever wrote. The guitar work drives everything here. It is fast and aggressive. There is no progressive nonsense or showing off just for the sake of it. It is all about the riff. T-Fresh vocals sit right on top, shouting about conspiracy theories and how the world is going to hell. It fits the music perfectly. You can tell these guys have played in bands for years because the execution is professional even if the attitude is punk and dirty.

The production deserves a mention because it saves this from being just another retro-thrash throwback. Timo Höcke at Wellenschmiede gave this a thick bottom end. Usually, these retro bands sound thin, but "Crush Everyone" sounds massive. The drums pound through the speakers and the bass actually exists in the mix, which is rare for the genre. It makes the songs kick you in the teeth. It sounds like a modern metal record that just happens to be playing music from 1989.

The songs are short and to the point. They get in, bash your head in, and get out. There is a great energy here that keeps the head banging. Sometimes you just want metal that is loud and angry without having to think too much about it, and Satanic Squirrel delivers that. The hooks are there, and the choruses are shout-along anthems for the paranoid. It is fun, aggressive music made by guys who clearly love this stuff.

Look, this is not going to change the course of music history, but who cares? It is a damn good time. If you miss the days when thrash was about denim, leather, and drinking beer while headbanging until your neck snapped, this is for you. It is honest, heavy, and aggressive. Satanic Squirrel came to crush, and they did a pretty good job of it. Grab a beer, turn it up, and piss off your neighbors.

Score: 7.5

Link:

https://satanicsquirrel.bandcamp.com/album/crush-everyone-2